an empty mind

it's been a while since my last post,isn't it?

this morning gives quite a heavy rain

HIS blesses are shown in many ways,aren't they?

i guess morning fresh air is among the greatest of them

i can't resist the fresh air in the morning after the rain

the smell of the grass after raining is really a heartwarming

well it would be such a perfect time to rest for a sleepyhead like me

a thick hot blanket would sure keep me unconscious for half a day

but today i don't feel like sleeping

instead i choose to sit and leave something here

but i really have nothing to tell

i'm writing my personal here

entry by entry

as if there are people out there interested to read bout my life

i should put a "ha-ha" here, shouldn't i?

ha-ha, then.

i don't care much bout the follower(s)

i don't like to publicize my personal too

but this blog was created as my lifetime diary

for me and my future bloodline

whoever would it be, this diary would always remind them of their origin

literally remind them of me

as i suppose this global virtual world have enough space

to keep my blog alive long enough

this would be my footsteps

that i can track down whenever i want to 

the memory lane that freeze my youth

that shows what kind of person i am when i'm young

so that when i'm getting older

as i re-read my entries

i can laugh of my own stupidity

how i've wasted my youth in certain ways

or how bad my english was

ha-ha, again

i think i'm gonna stop here

this all i have in mind for now

see you later

oo by the way

saya masak mee hangus for breakfast today

haha, 3rd time

kakar ipar

it's 5.40 am and i'm still awake

if u notice, all of my entries were posted after midnight

i think i am a BATwoman

not the hero part that resemble

but the nocturnal side...

or maybe there's vampire part(s) in me

the glares of sunlight aching my beautiful face
ouch! ouch!

mengarut....well that's one of my expertise

i'm currently at home

laying on my big favourite sofa

walopun da lembik sebab duk menampung saye yg 'ringan' sgt nih

it's the best of all

watching back-to-back while menyiapkan tempahan tudung nih

"fantaghiro: the cave of the golden rose"

i bet you know this story

it once has been a phenomena to the youngsters, 5 years back i think

i'm not into the romance but the epic of the story

in fact i adores the antagonist (tarabas) more than the hero (ramualdo...salah eja kot)

u know, the period of the story, the big old castle, the noble king, beautiful ambitious princess, the legendary, the royalty, knight with the armor, the war, magics, gladiators bla bla bla...

all these defined my favourite type of movie

well..this is not the main recipe of my entry tonight

presenting

my new family member

hehehe....

now the 6 become 7

welcome to othman's

siti aisyah zakaria

a MONEY-LOVER i am..

i am money lover

yup.. a very loyal money lover indeed

but i've always find a way to make my own money

spend my own money

the greatest feeling of all

especially when i am able to give some to my parents

brother and sisters

for schooling..

i've started being money-independent at the age of 18

simply because i have 2 little sisters and a brother

that need extra money attention

and my family at that time have a hard economy crisis

my father was being cheated for several times

it involved thousands....a lot sum of money

that i would never tell anyone how much RM he lost

they took away too much, and it gave a great effect to our family at that time

the beginning of my real lesson of life...what life could give and takes

how moneys maniac people nowadays

i never asked money from my parents

wait...i've borrowed once, RM50

it happened once that no money left in my pocket, 

and i had to survive one day more before i get the allowance

i've checked in every compartment of my wallet

with a hope that i mistakenly slipped a note

that i can use to buy nasik for lunch

and there was none left..

so...i widened my search and i saw my tabung

i've collected all the coins left, make up almost rm10 in total

my wallet thickened, and one of my friends noticed it

and....she gave me her purse,

"ambikla banyak mana ko nak, ada duit nnti ganti balik. jgn bimbang"

i took rm10, for the lunch and dinner

that's how far my life goes..

and at that time, i remember having a "boyfriend"

i monkey-loved him so much, and it monkeyed my mind too

it blinds me to see he as a complete asshole

yep...
we rarely see eachother

but once we did, everything is on me..

even a glass of ice tea that cost RM1

he borrows money, top ups, and what not

and one day he left me without 24-hours notice...ceit..

hampeh btol la...

well..citer lama.let bygone be bygone...

and one day.... when i was having an examination

i remember reading a thick science notes

15 chapters if i'm not mistaken

and it came to the limit where i can't afford to go beyond

it was too stressful.. i've to do something

and i found a needle and a thread came out of nowhere

must be my roomate's

i'll try to create something, 

something that later turns out to be a flower

really, i don't know how i made it

later then i knew that it called "embroidery"

starting from that day, i learned how to embroider

which i'm intend to tell you later how i got thousands RM

from that day.....

LIFE DOESN'T JUST TAKE AWAY THINGS FROM YOU, IT GIVES IN RETURN.

to be continued....

goodnite...

mmuahh!!!euww...

how MUCH is 0.03???

it's 4.58 am...and i'm still awake...burning the midnight oil?

yes...it's too tiresome

erm...don't get it wrong...

i've wasted so much oil, must be gallons by now just to light up the lamp

to stay awake to.......STUDY?? 

naa.......

i watched korean movie

letting myself to get fooled by those fairytales love story

by those stereotype movies

a young humble tall fair goodlooking kind RICH macho hero

fall for a common silly girl...

there's no such love in real world...

is it?

but i really enjoyed the movie..

i'm so into it!

thinking that it is possibly exist in real world

it's good though

to at least let yourself away from a real world for a while

forgetting the ugliness of reality

now..what the heck am i writing here?

it's just the examination is around the corner

and i do nothing but wasting more time

it's the final of final

i guess the sense of guilt is the reason for all these

my cgpa is 3.47

just a glimpse of the number makes my bones is about to jump out of my skin!

why? it's just 0.03 more

such a small number, is it?

but here in maktab, it almost impossible to add up

it took a world to get 0.03 you know..

p/s: why is it hard for some people to round up 3.47? if there is,then i would be FREE.........................

the talk of a kampong girl

is currently at home...

somewhere in the heart of kelantan

deep in a small  kampong 

where everything is so unmalacca..

so not KL life

far from hustle bustle of big city..

where i can sleep on my own little bed

accompanied with a peaceful sounds of nocturnal creatures

sometimes embraced with the song of frogs

bathing in the rain

the night is so quiet, that you can hear your own breath

you'll know every details of the night through the sounds

with azan subuh from the main mosque as morning alarm

the day begin as early as 6,

with the clicking sound of stainless steels from the kitchen

it's my mom preparing breakfast..

never skip even a day without a morning meal

she's my best cook ever

i live in kampong house

surrounded with various kind of trees...

some are shady, makes up a canopy for a shelter from the sun

with 4 benches underneath...

encircle a round green table

giving us space to sit together in the evening

talking almost about everything

while sipping a hot tea

takes turn to tell story

HERE is my origin..

the place that have witnessed my life

the only place that hold memories of my past

the HEAVEN of dunya...

a very pleasant feeling...

 

this is my list-to-do for the whole semester

and today....

i'm officially reaches to the bottom of the list!

which mean that all the so-called assignment are successfully completed!

haaaa.......

what a peaceful feeling i have

and a peaceful mind...

* please note that final examination is excluded in the list. to prevent my heart from BOOOMM!!!

blown up...hehehe

BEAUTIFOOL me Y( ' o ' ) Y

CAUTION! : this is moving towards a personal entry. i don't  mind you reading...and judging. but no force on reading. feel free to hit X button on your right.

i think u know this post is the title of my blog

yaa....i know. wrong spelling...

it's on purpose

the question is why?

the beauty is not a fool 

so does the fool..

i like the irony

and i somehow believe that beauty is fool

give it a thought

have you ever heard of sayings "everybody is beautiful in their own way"

haven't you?

"or beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"

it tries to gives meaning that everyone is beautiful..

in the way that only the eyes who see can interpret..

but believe me the eyes won't see the big dark obese lady as beautiful

you don't? well try to compare this "big  dark obese lady" with siti nurhaliza..owh i miss dato'

who is beautiful? naa....be frank

who do you think is beautiful??

see?how can people say "everybody is beautiful in their own way"

while the preference is always to the tall slim fair lady?

now that's what i mean, 

beautiful itself is not beautiful at all...

it fools...instead

well this title is applied to me..

consider that i'm not in the category of beautiful lady

i fall into a beautifool types..

and throughout this blog, u'll see the beauty and the fool of me

i like to act beauty you know....(gile perasan..haha!)

but true..since you know you're not beautiful

try to act like one...

when guys on the street looking at you...

pretending like they want to mengorat..

even you know it's absolutely because they can't bear looking at your old-fashioned clothes

who dare to wear blue shirt, extra large jeans, with red sling bag? ME!!!

that's why people looking....

like i care...huh!

another thing is,

i always act fool, even at first i don't intend to at all

you don't believe it? try this:

• i wear flat shoes. i walk only God knows how lembab i am. no wind, no holes, no rock, i stumbled and fell. always happens...
• i've blank mind.or it's full with my day dreaming. so when i walk i can't remember the way i passed through. for example; i'm in dewan kuliah and i went out to the ladies. when i came back i just have no idea where i am and where my class is! oh!
• i always act confident, act beautiful when i walk, remember? and i end up in gents or to be specific org laki punye jamban!
• i drive, i forgot to release the handbrake
• i drive to exit but actually i'm going to entrance. how can??
• i don't like strangers, i rather keep quiet than greeting people i don't know at all.but once i did, i always approach people like i already know them 10 years ago. no wonder why most people at first mistakenly think that i have feeling towards them. and it's the effort to flirt. even the woman thinks like that!

but the beauty of me is, i never care of "the eyes". because the look of the eyes is just an unfair judges. get to know people by your heart, your hand, your ears,your mouth...you'll get more than what the eyes can give.