Monday, March 4, 2013

the way things are supposed to be..

this may look funny to some of us, but seriously we are damn hopeless. sleeping with one eyes open. what we are facing here are all based on rumors. rumors have it all. it tells everything, everything that nobody can tell how much it relies on true facts.

things are getting worst each days. we can't really tell how's tomorrow gonna be. we go to school, teach like everybody else, but who knows in next 10 minutes,all we need to do is just wrap everything up and run for life. we don't know. we can't really tell. 

it's so tired, living in fear. u count how much cars are on the road,are people running away? you're aware of weird sounds outside home, u pack things for emergency, buy tons of sardines, dozens of Maggie, full petrol, cash money, documents, and everything. so that if anythings came up, u just run!

what u saw on tv, they lies... a lot. but they know what they're doing. i hope so~

Allah knows best.  pray for us. pray for your family in lahad datu and semporna. pray for those who came to help us. because the way things are supposed to be, is better than any of this. ALLAHUAKBAR!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

the better planner

i thought i knew what i need in life
i thought i've planned it well
i thought i love the right man
i thought i've been a good muslim
i thought i have enough
till the moment when
it was all taken from me 
HE shows
how my pride, my ego tearing me down
 and at the end
i have nothing but HIM



Saturday, September 29, 2012

things have changed (1)

people says, life has different stages..
u'll reach to another only when u're capable to
earlier of life, u might start easy..
someone will always be there for you..your parents
as u walk through, completing stages by stages
u'll realize, life is getting harder..
and sooner or later,whether u want it or not... u'll walk alone..
at one point in your life, u'll create a new circle...
and that was the time when u have to be there for others..
u'll be a parents, a shelter for others...

this is what i realized when the first time i saw her..
she starts a new stage...
for my brother and sister
for my ma and abah
for my uncle and aunts
for my siblings...

things have changed for everybody...
dear sis siti aisyah, thank you for bringing us
such a wonderful little gift
it's a great moment..
it's a great experience

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

oh my English!

someone have asked me 
"kenapa awak slalu post dlm english?"
that refer to my facebook status
after a while..he asked 
"tulis blog pon english?"
he continue...
"msg phone pon kna english jgk ke. mesti sbb awk tesl kn?"

oo my...

it was true...
most of the time, i use english
i like it when people said
"taula tesl, berlagak"
God, mane ada bdk tesl blagak. tesl je pun....

well that's not the end..
i remember someone posted in my facebook
"hey, you're teacher isna afiqah right? well teacher, your english suck.please join my tuition"
and.........that was insulting....

well, i'm using it because i am an english learner
and one day i'll be teaching english
if i were suck at it
then being a teslian is really a big problem for me

the picture is like this
i'm a kampung girl
well, suburban
it's kelantan, and we have our own language
my dad speak java
mom from terengganu
at home, they mix well
but there's no place for english
so...there's no way for me to speak english
unless i make an effort to do so

 to add on..
i received lots of comments from my lecturer
regarding my spoken english
the hardest part was during my practical
it was after the final observation
and my lecturer mdm j.
i can say she's a bit fussy
she will do everything to its perfection
that time i was waiting for her
to hear the final verdict
i knew it wouldn't be easy
plus, the weather was boiling hot
she got a fever, so as the mood
god!my body was trembling,hand shaking...

and this is what had happened..

mdm j : isna, practice ur english. u'll be an english teacher. i'm done with you.
me      : so mdm, is that all? (GOD! WHAT A STUPID QUESTION!)
mdm j : well, i don't like your voice. speak louder. and your english. u're doing tesl isna. u must improve.
me      : sorry mdm, it's my bad.
mdm j : isna! that's not english.
me      : am i making a mistake madam?
mdm j : u should know
me      : it was "my mistake" not "my bad", is it?
mdm j : i don't even know, where u've heard that word isna. improve your english! u're tesl graduates!

so,if u get the story right,
u'll get the answer why my writing is always english
i'm learning.i try to improve..
...sort of

i'm using it most of the time
because i know i desperately need to improve
and who knows
one of my students
would be your kid
so pray hard
i'll improve
and got my english right


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

double OR trouble

"two is better than one"

it's a song
a phrase
but for me it goes beyond what the eyes can see
more than what words can tell
heart can feel..
for me being "two" offers no benefits to any party
so it offers no "better state" at all..

once u're "two" 
another minutes u're "one"
what left was a deep empty hole in ur heart..
and that "empty hole"
leave some sort of feelings
that's what i call

it's not that i blame the consequences
or hating the other party..
in fact, i'm glad that i am "one"
i'm on my own
when things are beyond my control
the answer of constant prayers is a no
i decided myself
to leave..

after some time..
when i'm totally out of the frame
became the audience of my own story
what i can say is..
i'm happy that i've made that decision

though it's true
two is better than one
doesn't mean that "one" is no better at all

its about 
taking your own sweet time
understand your life
as an individual grown-up
before taking the next step 
to own the other soul...

till then..
i choose to be one..